The Good and Bad

'ello family,

I'm aware that this isn't much of a blog. Obviously, you can assume my life has been a bit too busy to update it since September 13.

I can tell you a couple of things. Number one: I'm tired. Humorology is this weekend, and I'm putting in six hours every day for practice. I hope you like it, Mom and Dad, because working at this has been basically equivalent to marching band. Astonishing, I know.

The work that I've put in has cost me a lot. First of all: my heath. I've gone from mild sicknesses from drinking out of others water glasses, to cracking my skull on the floor, to walking around on crutches for days...hamstring. Humo has also cost me my time. We began this in October with practices twice a week for three hours each practice, and this last month we have had practice every day for four or more hours. Tonight was six. Hundreds of hours that could've been spent studying.

After this weekend I'll let you all know if it was worth it. There's nothing I love more than performing, so I'm thinking that it should pay off.

The next thing that I can tell you all is that our sorority has been put on probation. sigh.... we didn't do anything wrong this semester. In fact, our Nationals have said that they waited to put us on this so we would have a stronger group of officers to pull through it. Essentially it means we can have no socials. Formal was cancelled and we have a hell of a lot of work to do in paperwork, and uniting the chapter. So, in addition to Humo, I've been working on keeping our sorority's head above the water.

Finally, I can tell you that I was not accepted into the School of Kinesiology. It's very hard for me to say out loud...so this is this the only time you will see/hear it from me. I will never bring it up again. Please do not ask me about it. I don't know why I didn't get in. I'll reapply next year....but I've never been told 'no' before. I've never been turned down because my abilities weren't enough. I've always pushed hard enough to get myself where I want....so this has been my biggest challenge; accepting that I wasn't quite good enough. I will tell you, however, that those bitches who made the selection are missing out.

One thing I've realized throughout all of this is that...school is important. I get it....but there are things that I'm learning outside of class that cannot be quantified with a grade. I have no idea how my grades are going to turn out this semester (sorry mom and dad). They won't be terrible. Probably 2 A's, a B, and a BC. Who knows, but at this point, I'm dealing with challenges and feeling ways that I never thought I had in me. I've never felt so overwhelmed. I've never felt so sad and angry and discouraged. I've probably never cried more....seriously. But somehow I'm happy with lots of things. I'm very content with my sisters here in Madison, and I couldn't be more grateful for the people who I have to come home to this summer.

All I know is that I have 30 days and counting until I come home. Wish me good luck on Humo, wish me good luck on my finals, wish me good luck on surviving.

Miss you all. Love you all even more.